Sunday, May 09, 2004

BMTC School (1)
Hawk Platoon 1
'The Best There Is,The Best There Was,The Best There Ever Will Be'

it'd been sososo stress the past few weeks. had a hard time adjusting. every weekend so utterly precious and muz be exhausted! every sat enjoyment to the extremes man! first 2weeks confinement was really a bad experience for me. while talking to her i juz broke down. wtf. couldn't believe i was that depressed. missed my family and friends pretty badly. juz got back from 7days fieldcamp. to hell and back. it was raining for 3days and my life was really down in the dumps. a few moments i actually felt like breaking down. seriously. the worst feelings i had ever. the lowest point in life's rollercoaster ride thus far. besides the fact of not bathing for 7days, same cold combat rations everyday, putting on camocream evday, sandfly bites everywhere, my platoon was supposedly to be most siong in hawk. not forgetting we're always the saikang platoon. dig and cover the fucking shitholes. leopardcrawls over rocks and the many tekan sessions. 3guys tio lung infection. another 2 had serious skin rashes. 5mates down, the platoon morale was so bad, no one had the mood to talk to each other at all. at times even other platoon commanders would come over to encourage us. life evday was tough. but i'm proud to say we've endured all that shit and came thru as Hawk01.

fieldcamp had actually bonded the platoon. but i muz say it brought out the ugly side of many ppl. when u're all tired and stressed, the true nature of every single person can be seen. got no energy to keep up the mr.nice guy farade. and tat's when the real leaders emerge. selfishness, laziness, gossiping, not forgetting wayang-ing were really abound at every turn.

life as a chao recruit in NS really sucks. even worse den i thought. not in the training sense but mentally. hate sleeping only 5hrs a day. hate being stuck in tekong for 5days a week. hate being cut off from the outside world. hate rice. hate the colour green. hate the regimentation. hate the miserable 350bucks. miss my freedom. miss my friends. miss my family. miss my bedroom. miss my old life.

worst thing is it's not gonna get any better but it'll be getting worse. i don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. treasure what u hav cos u'll nvr know when it's gonna be taken away. army sucks. i wannabe a cv.

James | 4:57 AM